Pass notesThe news on TVBart Simpson was a big fan, and the prank call has always been the curse of phone-in shows – as GB News discovered this week
Name: Prank calls.
Age: The oldest known dates from 1884, and involved telephoning undertakers in Rhode Island to summon them to the homes of not-dead people.
I miss that sort of wholesome, good-natured humour. Don’t worry – prank calls are making a comeback.
Really? But who would be so gullible in this day and age? The presenters of GB News.
I don’t know what that is. It’s a new “anti-woke” news channel fronted by Andrew Neil, but without any news.
What does it have instead? “Passionate presenters with character, flair, attitudes, opinion and, yes, a sense of humour,” said Neil on opening night.
Do you have any examples of that humour? “Nobody will be allowed to hector,” he said a few seconds later. “In fact, Hector has been banished from the studio.”
Where can I avoid this channel? Advertisers are asking the same question. But its opinion shows are at least popular with a certain kind of caller.
Prank callers? Exactly. In response to an item about children’s toys, presenter Michelle Dewberry read a response from one Mike Hunt.
Yes? And? You may need to say his name out loud.
“Mike Hunt” … oh yes, I do see. Only a few hours earlier, the former Brexit party MEP Alexandra Phillips read an email from someone called “Mike Oxlong”.
But they could be genuine names. When I worked as a supply teacher there was a boy in the class called Mike Oxlong. No, there wasn’t.
Didn’t they do this on The Simpsons? Yes – Bart made regular calls to Moe’s bar asking to speak to, among others, IP Freely, Amanda Huggenkiss, Anita Bath and Heywood U Kuddlemee. And Moe fell for it repeatedly.
It could only happen in a cartoon. Actually Nigel Farage was recently persuaded to read out a birthday message to Hugh Janus on Cameo. And now there’s GB News.
I always imagined cynical, rightwing culture warriors to be more savvy. You would think, but the opening days of GB News have been plagued by amateurishness: bad lighting, terrible sound, stupid words and a total inability to spot off-colour puns.
Do they have any plans to tackle the problem? Yes, they’ve introduced two new presenters, Dixie Normus and Phil McCavity.
Really? No.
Do say: “I’d like to speak to Mr Neil about wokeness, please. First name Jenna, last name Talia.”
Don’t say: “Olaf Sekks may be a funny name in your country, but I really do work for Ikea and I want to cancel our advertising spend.”
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